IC CONTACT

[insist]

☎ | 📷 | ✉
"You've reached Rohan Kishibe. Important calls only, please."

Comments

( text ) FROM: ✨👑KING JJ👑✨

[underwhelms]

[ no explanation selfie of JJ. He's outside and it's still a little dark, probably butts o'clock in the morning.

He's winking. It's the worst. ]

heeyaw id: RK

[insist]

Contacts --> Rohan Kishibe --> Delete this user.

There, I've mapped it out for you. Follow those instructions.

HeeYaw

[underwhelms]

[ he is rewarded with another selfie ]

YawHee

[insist]

[ he's still here ... ]

Are you here because you can't sleep? Do you know I'm not your fun-dispenser?

[catfident]

[ Through some RP magic or another, Yoruichi has managed to catch wind of Rohan's name and, much to her delight, discovered it also in the refugee contacts book uploaded in their phones.

It's a lazy weekend afternoon, she hasn't gotten anything better to do, so: ]

why did the golfer change his pants?

[catfident]

[ Immediately afterwards comes another text. ]

because he got a hole in one

[catfident]

[ Rinse and repeat. ]

how do you make holy water?

[catfident]

you boil the hell out of it

[catfident]

what do you call somebody with no nose?

[catfident]

nobody knows!

[catfident]

how many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus?

[catfident]

tentacles

[catfident]

what's the loudest pet you can get?

[catfident]

a trumpet

ok i'm done now

[catfident]

[ And she keeps blowing up his phone until Rohan finally responds.

Hi!!!!!!!!! ]

stop prank calling squidward

[insist]

[ He doesn't mind puns but he certainly minds being bombarded by puns when he's trying to catch up on sleep.

... In the late afternoon, yeah, because Rohan's the kind who would have a fucked up sleep schedule.

After 10 minutes of pretending he's not here, he finally responds, because it doesn't look like she will stop. ] What the hell are you doing??! STOP THIS

What are you expecting to get out of this? Do you want me to laugh at your jokes? Do you want to piss the fuck out of me? HOW MANY TIMES BEFORE YOU'RE SATISFIED?

[ imagine that said in the most dramatic voice. ]

text, un. FREDERICK

[pebblestone]

[ pretends the refugee ic contact directory works or something, idk ]

Is this Rohan?

freddie

[insist]

Yes. [ He squints at the name. Rohan's pretty sure he hasn't met anyone by that name yet. ]

Frederick, is it? Unless that's only a username. Anyway, do you have some business with me?

i'm gomen....

[pebblestone]

Indeed.

I believe you've met one of my housemates, Cam Buckland. He informated me that you had transformed him into a book against his will.

( text ) FROM: ✨👑KING JJ👑✨

[underwhelms]

do you think santa is real?

[insist]

[ what ......

actually, he doesn't mind this question very much. ]

Does your mind often wander when you're feeling bored, Jean-Jacques?

Unlike BigFoot, there have been no recorded sightings of Santa Claus. In fact, the origin of the legend can be traced back to a person in history.

[underwhelms]

think about it this way: zombies are real, vampires are real, and magic is real...
then why can't santa be real?
somewhere???

text

[tzaraisen]

Where are you? Are you alright?

[insist]

Who is this?

[tzaraisen]

Is this not Rohan Kishibe? Who am I communicating with, if not him?