IC CONTACT

[insist]

☎ | 📷 | ✉
"You've reached Rohan Kishibe. Important calls only, please."

Comments

[catfident]

[ Through some RP magic or another, Yoruichi has managed to catch wind of Rohan's name and, much to her delight, discovered it also in the refugee contacts book uploaded in their phones.

It's a lazy weekend afternoon, she hasn't gotten anything better to do, so: ]

why did the golfer change his pants?

[catfident]

[ Immediately afterwards comes another text. ]

because he got a hole in one

[catfident]

[ Rinse and repeat. ]

how do you make holy water?

[catfident]

you boil the hell out of it

[catfident]

what do you call somebody with no nose?

[catfident]

nobody knows!

[catfident]

how many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus?

[catfident]

tentacles

[catfident]

what's the loudest pet you can get?

[catfident]

a trumpet

ok i'm done now

[catfident]

[ And she keeps blowing up his phone until Rohan finally responds.

Hi!!!!!!!!! ]

stop prank calling squidward

[insist]

[ He doesn't mind puns but he certainly minds being bombarded by puns when he's trying to catch up on sleep.

... In the late afternoon, yeah, because Rohan's the kind who would have a fucked up sleep schedule.

After 10 minutes of pretending he's not here, he finally responds, because it doesn't look like she will stop. ] What the hell are you doing??! STOP THIS

What are you expecting to get out of this? Do you want me to laugh at your jokes? Do you want to piss the fuck out of me? HOW MANY TIMES BEFORE YOU'RE SATISFIED?

[ imagine that said in the most dramatic voice. ]

no

[catfident]

[ get your lazy ass outta bed, rohan ]

you could stand to lighten up
i thought i would help

[ """help""" ]

[insist]

'Lighten up'? Why would I need to lighten up?

[ stop implying there are actual flaws in his personality. ] That's the only funny joke you've told so far.

[ He's a calm and rational person. ]

[catfident]

[ HMMMMMM ]

is it?
i suppose your terrible sense of humor can't be helped

[insist]

[ wow! ]

What's that? Criticizing my sense of humor when your jokes fell so flat you could roll something over them? In comedy, puns are the lowest-tier, told only in irony.

But fine, if it's puns you want, I know a few. In fact, I've once done a theatrical performance on puns.

[ Not really. Anyway, here it comes: ] It was a play on words.

1/2

[catfident]

[ .......................... ]

0/10

mobile tags are impossible

[catfident]

and you call yourself an artist

how can you create anything when your jokes are so bad?

[insist]

Were you listening to what I said? That part about puns being bottom barrel when it comes to comedy?

[ secretly offended she doesn't find him funny. ]

Anyway, I'm not a gag manga artist. Comedy was never the focus of my manga.

[catfident]

oh, so you write the type of R18 manga that teenage boys hide in their bags to read secretly during break?

[ what else is she supposed to interpret from that one time he listed her measurements aloud? ]

[insist]

Excuse me?! How many terrible jokes are you going to tell me today

I have better things to do with my talent than cater to other people's fantasies. That sort of manga is dull, devoid of any substance, dependent too heavily on overused tropes, wholly uninspired.

[catfident]

is that so? then you cater to only your own fantasies and none other?

[ which makes him the teenage boy reading R18 doujins in school, gotcha ]

[insist]

[ joke's on u rohan dropped out of school .......

anyway ... his action's coming back to haunt him ..... and me ..... ]

I do no such thing! I draw and write to craft an excellent, well-rounded story. What the hell are you trying to imply about me?

[catfident]

that you're a self-centered pervert with no interest in the well-being of others

[ maybe if he was less of a douchebag she would think differently ]

[insist]

[ so all that is true but that doesn't mean he's about to accept these insults!!! ]

Why don't you take a look at yourself, Yoruichi Shihoin, before you start criticizing other people... Even as a cat, your mind was developed enough for speech. You should still have had the basic decency not to do something so vile as to urinate on someone else's things, but you did it anyway. Why don't you think about your disgusting actions before you come here to bother me when I'm very busy. And I'm the one who's perverse?